Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize