I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
