He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
