We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
