Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just had sex on a roof
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
