who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
