you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize