It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
