dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just google imaged poop.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
