i love accidental penises.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
