Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
