fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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