dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
