youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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