My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
