My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
