I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
