ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
