Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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