Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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