i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
