My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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