Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
