When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
