Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
