I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
