Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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