so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
