This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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