see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
