wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
