CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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