drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He better not be in your backpack
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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