that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
