So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
