Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
