He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
