walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
