What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
