is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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