Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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