Define "chronic" masturbator.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My cat gives me a boner
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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