Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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