I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
50% drunk capacity currently
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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