it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Mom said you looked used
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
