Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
