I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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