All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
