I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
