She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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