You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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