running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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