I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
