it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
