i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize